The Definition of Dysfunctional


This rant goes hand in hand with “The Expectation”! I grew up with the notion that the perfect family dynamic was actually a thing. I’m still learning it’s not and as time goes on, the plot only thickens.

I married into what I considered at the time, the 'perfect' family, but unfortunately reality has set in and I’m reminded once again that nothing in life is perfect.

Before having the boys, family functions were important to me. Until that is, my husband’s siblings started having kiddos. Sunday dinners went from relaxing to chaotic R E A L quick!

Fast forward a few years and again the situation changed as we welcomed our first bundle of chaos into the world. It’s from that moment on that I thought the time we spent with our family would increase because we now too had children, but that hasn’t been the case.

In fact, it’s quite the opposite. It’s as if there just isn’t room for everyone. So year after year, family birthday parties, bbqs and Sunday dinners go by without us. The time, money and effort that goes into the other children and grandchildren just leaves me feeling like my boys (husband included) aren’t loved as much. I’ll never be able to wrap my head around any of it.

While I can handle this exclusion I feel bad for my little boys. I know that one day they’re going to see what I see. I can also tell that it hurts my husbands feelings, although he would never admit it.
I’ve learned that family life is just dysfunctional & favoritism is a thing. It comes down to being grateful & thankful for what you do have and looking beyond what you don’t. It also comes back to that ridiculous expectation. That unrealistic idea of ‘perfection’. In my opinion, this just sets us up for disappointment and the feeling of failure. So, once again here's to raising our middle fingers to T H E  E X P E C T A T I O N and remembering there is no such thing as perfect.



Lenna Hulings

I’m an electrician turned sahm of two little boys. I’m also the creator of The Blonde Bartender. A place where I serve up the way I do life, in moderation. My hope is that you’ll find my messy motherhood truths refreshing. My stylish lifestyle inspiring and that this space is full of love, laughter, a little wine & a lot of retail therapy!